Whoa...Two in One Day

Most people have given up on me ever posting, so most people probably won't even know this happened until groundhog day. Still, I was reading my friend Erin's blog, A Blog Named Betty, and she shared a stream-of-consciousness moment with her daughter. It reminded me of one recently, so I thought I would share.

We were eating soup, which had alien looking mushrooms in it.

DD: What are those weird things?

Me: Mushrooms--just try them, they taste kind of like meat.

DD: So, you know, there was this time when we were mad at Japan, and this thing fell and blew them all up.

Me: Huh? What thing?

DD: You know, that thing that blew everybody up--an atom bomb.

Me: What does that have to do with soup?

DD: It looks like a mushroom.

Me: Ahhhhhhh

I LOVE my mother...

Having a Senior in high school is quite the adventure. We've made so many mistakes that I am totally ready for Colin when he graduates in two years. I've been on the phone and the computer for hours, arranging audition times, clarifying requirements, obtaining financial records for financial aid applications, hounding my eldest to write essays--NOW!!! Whew. I hope we make it through.
It makes me remember my Senior year and how much I procrastinated, and didn't see the big picture, and cared nothing for my mother's time (and father's). And why do I remember this now? Because I find myself saying all these things to my son. So mom and dad, for the record, I am expressing the deepest, most heartfelt gratitude. And just in case it makes you feel better--yes, my son is just like me and I'm getting what I deserve!!! :D Fortunately, he's a pretty incredible kid, so most of what I'm getting is good. (it's just that other 1% that might have me searching for a wig before long...)

The Steak is the Cake

My dad just celebrated his 69th birthday. He's one of those guys who has everything, and we're always searching for the perfect gadget/gizmo/thingamajiggy with which to suprise him. This year my brother-in-law Jared had a particularly brilliant lighbulb moment. When my mom pondered what kind of cake to make, Jared suggested presenting my dad with a 96 ounce Porterhouse Steak with candles in it, since my dad is a Steak-a-holic. While we really didn't care to shell out the cash for a Porterhouse, we came up with the next best thing. German Chocolate T-Bone. Yum!!!

still confused? This is actually a cake with german chocolate frosting, oreo crumb grill marks, and CLEAN rawhide chewy bones. Pretty sweet, huh?

Holy Stream of Consciousness, Batman

I think I should NOT have written "It Was a Dark and Stormy Night" in my last post, because it seems all we've had so far in January is dark, wet, cold, windy storminess. Still, there are occasional bursts of craziness and hilarity that shine through the thick gloom (or maybe it's just cabin fever), and the following post is one of those. I help run a leadership training course for Summer Girl's Camp Youth leaders, and our theme this year has to do with Superheroes. As I was working on plans for our first training meeting, I got a little sidetracked and came up with some new Camp Rules to add to the existing list. Just for kicks and giggles, I'm posting them here. :) Enjoy!

Superhero Rules:

1. Superhero name should reflect super-ability possessed, or super-ability wished for enough that it seems real to you.

2. If Superhero name does not contain the designation “man” or “woman”, name should be formed with the article “The” and followed by an appropriately descriptive noun, i.e. The Blob, The Queen, The Master of All Things Chocolate.
3. The suffix “ator” or “inator” may be added for extra emphasis and the illusion that said name is even grander than once thought, i.e. The Mominator. This is also effective to “nounize” a verb, i.e. The Lickinator, or The Cleaninator.

4. Anything to be fought against (weapon) must end in the phrase “of death”, however, since we are kinder gentler superheros, “of doom” will suffice, i.e. The Giant Gravity Hammer of Doom, or The Enormous Smelly Teenage Sock of Doom.

5. None of us are villains, but occasionally you might run into one. You will recognize them in several ways. Some names will start with “evil”, as in The Evil Dr. Flower Pants. Occasionally the word “evil” will be omitted if the Noun is nasty enough: The Scourge.

More rules to follow as the need for them arises!

It Was a Dark and Stormy Night...

I believe the first entry in a new blog to be a daunting thing. Those first few chosen words can set the tone of the blog for weeks to come. So, how to begin? I decided to check out the winners of a little contest called the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest to get inspired, and found the perfect sentence with which to begin:

They had but one last remaining night together, so they embraced each other as tightly as that two-flavor entwined string cheese that is orange and yellowish-white, the orange probably being a bland Cheddar and the white . . . Mozzarella, although it could possibly be Provolone or just plain American, as it really doesn't taste distinctly dissimilar from the orange, yet they would have you believe it does by coloring it differently.
Mariann Simms, Wetumpka, AL (2003 Winner)

The friendly folks in the San Jose State University English department sponser this contest every year in search of the WORST beginning sentence for a bad novel. It may be the best "worst" first sentence for a novel, but I'm quite enjoying it as a fantastic "best" first sentence for this blog (technically, it's the best 5th sentence, but I consider the first paragraph to be merely a preface to the blog, leaving the immortal words penned by Ms. Simms to start things off with a bang).

Ultimately, I'm just trying to get this entry posted so my sister Jennie, will have something to read. She called yesterday to tell me she was tired of reading the "Test" post, and to ask if I could please get a move on. Here ya go, sis!

Until next time, I leave you the immortal words of the latest winner:

Gerald began--but was interrupted by a piercing whistle which cost him ten percent of his hearing permanently, as it did everyone else in a ten-mile radius of the eruption, not that it mattered much because for them "permanently" meant the next ten minutes or so until buried by searing lava or suffocated by choking ash--to pee.
Jim Gleeson, Madison, WI (2007 Winner)