Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Nirvana (or, And There was Joy in the Land)

My sister challenged her kids to write blog entries about what Thanksgiving would be like if the Pilgrims had landed in their state (Arizona). Unless they were on a spaceship, I don't think landing in Arizona would have been an option, but I suppose that is part of the charm of this exercise. LOL So, without further adieu, If the Pilgrims had Landed in Oregon...



Somewhere, in a solid, wooden ship out on the Pacific Ocean, a group of weary travelers spyed land. "Look, we spy land," they said. Disembarking, they traveled inland and came upon a beautiful valley. "Look, a beautiful valley," they said.



And, indeed, it was a beautiful valley, green and lush, full of berries and fruits and nuts of all kinds. Seriously. There were lovely spotted owls in all the trees and hordes of salmon in the streams. There was also an abundance of a new creature, the opossum, that they particularly enjoyed, because of the ease in capturing it. It simply threw itself under the wheels of their wagons, offering itself up for their dinner. These pilgrims brought all sorts of supplies with them, but the supplies were unnecessary because of the abundance in the valley. They thought they had found Nirvana. "We have found Nirvana," they said. And there was joy in the land.



As fall came, these pilgrims decided to prepare for the winter by building sturdy shelters. Everywhere they looked, they saw giant pine trees, just waiting to be fashioned into little cabins. So many were the trees, that they rejoiced again, because they could chop the trees down willy nilly, and there would still an infinite number of trees left. "We are happy for the abundance of trees," they said, "because even if we chop down trees willy nilly to build to our hearts desire, there will still be trees left for hugging." Hugging trees was very important to these early settlers of Oregon.



The landscape turned from greens to magnificent reds and golds, the sun shone brightly, and the days dawned perfectly--not too hot and not too cold. And the pilgrims thought this Nirvana was even more perfect than they thought before. "This nirvana rocks," they said. And there was joy in the land--so much joy, that the pilgrims planned a great Thanksgiving feast for one month hence (or the 3rd Thursday in November, or sometimes the 4th Thursday, but that makes for a real bummer of a Christmas shopping season). They were absolutely giddy with the beauty, and the bounty, and the perfect weather, and their cute little cabins, and all the trees for hugging. But they were the most giddy when they thought of the alluring aroma of Roast Possum, golden and juicy, their choice for the grand Thanksgiving feast.



Alas, November 1st brought an unusual site--dark clouds rolled across the valley and rain drenched all the aforementioned things they were giddy about. "It's okay," they said, "we must needs have a little rain to maintain our Nirvana." On day two of rain they said this, and day 5 and day 14 and day 21. But by day 23, the day before their feast, the horrible truth set in. Especially as they noticed the moss covering their beloved trees and the mold overgrowing their little cabins. The worst, however, had to be the nasty aroma of soaking wet, mangy possum fur. The stench became even more worrisome as possoms lay rotting in the roads. You see, the ease of capturing possums, which was once a blessing, became a curse as no one cared to partake of stinky, mangy, decomposing, moss and mold-covered possum. "There goes Thanksgiving dinner," they lamented. Needless to say, the feast did not go as well as was once hoped.

Never fear, however. These pioneers had hardiness bred into their bones. A plan was quickly hatched for the next year. "We will say nothing of this disaster," they decided. "Instead, we will invent the word, 'Snowbird.' We will live in Oregon during the months of Nirvana, finishing up the season with lavish Oktoberfest celebrations (which we will hold in September), then we will flee to Arizona. We hear they have a lovely celebration complete with roasted cactus paddles, crickets and scorpions and dead rattlesnakes hanging from the branches of the Ocotillo bushes."
Go here for details: http://jenslifeisasitcom.blogspot.com/search?updated-max=2008-10-25T16%3A47%3A00-07%3A00&max-results=7
This plan quickly gained popularity, causing exhuberantly frenzied excitement! "Yay," they said.

And there was joy in the land.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Say It 3 Times Fast...


BUNION, BUNION, BUNION! Sounds funnier than it really is, but they say (I'm not sure who, just the cosmic "they"), that laughter is the best medicine, so I'm going to keep on repeating this mantra for the next couple weeks. A little incense, a few "ohms", and I'll be good to go. (bunion, bunion, bunion) 2 days til surgery, so instead of running around madly, cleaning and organizing, I thought I'd post on my blog. The art of avoidance is a beautiful thing. I found a picture of my little problem to share with you. Actually, I found much grosser pictures on Google Images, but they make me feel a little queasy, and I didn't think they'd match the decor, so this will do. If you're one of those weird medical types, feel free to investigate for yourself--there's plenty of deformity, and blood, and "eww"iness to satisfy even the most surgical palate. As for me...I'm off to my laundry and grocery shopping and fridge cleaning...bunion, bunion, bunion.

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Fame!

Now that life has slowed down a bit, I thought I'd play a little catch up from summer. Prepare to be dazzled! Prepare to be amazed! Just don't prepare to see any of this in chronological order. Kyle went with the South Salem High School Wind Ensemble to play at the Olympics. While there, he was briefly interviewed for KGW TV in Portland. Check it out!

{{{KYLE'S BIG INTERVIEW}}}