Nirvana (or, And There was Joy in the Land)

My sister challenged her kids to write blog entries about what Thanksgiving would be like if the Pilgrims had landed in their state (Arizona). Unless they were on a spaceship, I don't think landing in Arizona would have been an option, but I suppose that is part of the charm of this exercise. LOL So, without further adieu, If the Pilgrims had Landed in Oregon...



Somewhere, in a solid, wooden ship out on the Pacific Ocean, a group of weary travelers spyed land. "Look, we spy land," they said. Disembarking, they traveled inland and came upon a beautiful valley. "Look, a beautiful valley," they said.



And, indeed, it was a beautiful valley, green and lush, full of berries and fruits and nuts of all kinds. Seriously. There were lovely spotted owls in all the trees and hordes of salmon in the streams. There was also an abundance of a new creature, the opossum, that they particularly enjoyed, because of the ease in capturing it. It simply threw itself under the wheels of their wagons, offering itself up for their dinner. These pilgrims brought all sorts of supplies with them, but the supplies were unnecessary because of the abundance in the valley. They thought they had found Nirvana. "We have found Nirvana," they said. And there was joy in the land.



As fall came, these pilgrims decided to prepare for the winter by building sturdy shelters. Everywhere they looked, they saw giant pine trees, just waiting to be fashioned into little cabins. So many were the trees, that they rejoiced again, because they could chop the trees down willy nilly, and there would still an infinite number of trees left. "We are happy for the abundance of trees," they said, "because even if we chop down trees willy nilly to build to our hearts desire, there will still be trees left for hugging." Hugging trees was very important to these early settlers of Oregon.



The landscape turned from greens to magnificent reds and golds, the sun shone brightly, and the days dawned perfectly--not too hot and not too cold. And the pilgrims thought this Nirvana was even more perfect than they thought before. "This nirvana rocks," they said. And there was joy in the land--so much joy, that the pilgrims planned a great Thanksgiving feast for one month hence (or the 3rd Thursday in November, or sometimes the 4th Thursday, but that makes for a real bummer of a Christmas shopping season). They were absolutely giddy with the beauty, and the bounty, and the perfect weather, and their cute little cabins, and all the trees for hugging. But they were the most giddy when they thought of the alluring aroma of Roast Possum, golden and juicy, their choice for the grand Thanksgiving feast.



Alas, November 1st brought an unusual site--dark clouds rolled across the valley and rain drenched all the aforementioned things they were giddy about. "It's okay," they said, "we must needs have a little rain to maintain our Nirvana." On day two of rain they said this, and day 5 and day 14 and day 21. But by day 23, the day before their feast, the horrible truth set in. Especially as they noticed the moss covering their beloved trees and the mold overgrowing their little cabins. The worst, however, had to be the nasty aroma of soaking wet, mangy possum fur. The stench became even more worrisome as possoms lay rotting in the roads. You see, the ease of capturing possums, which was once a blessing, became a curse as no one cared to partake of stinky, mangy, decomposing, moss and mold-covered possum. "There goes Thanksgiving dinner," they lamented. Needless to say, the feast did not go as well as was once hoped.

Never fear, however. These pioneers had hardiness bred into their bones. A plan was quickly hatched for the next year. "We will say nothing of this disaster," they decided. "Instead, we will invent the word, 'Snowbird.' We will live in Oregon during the months of Nirvana, finishing up the season with lavish Oktoberfest celebrations (which we will hold in September), then we will flee to Arizona. We hear they have a lovely celebration complete with roasted cactus paddles, crickets and scorpions and dead rattlesnakes hanging from the branches of the Ocotillo bushes."
Go here for details: http://jenslifeisasitcom.blogspot.com/search?updated-max=2008-10-25T16%3A47%3A00-07%3A00&max-results=7
This plan quickly gained popularity, causing exhuberantly frenzied excitement! "Yay," they said.

And there was joy in the land.

Say It 3 Times Fast...

BUNION, BUNION, BUNION! Sounds funnier than it really is, but they say (I'm not sure who, just the cosmic "they"), that laughter is the best medicine, so I'm going to keep on repeating this mantra for the next couple weeks. A little incense, a few "ohms", and I'll be good to go. (bunion, bunion, bunion) 2 days til surgery, so instead of running around madly, cleaning and organizing, I thought I'd post on my blog. The art of avoidance is a beautiful thing. I found a picture of my little problem to share with you. Actually, I found much grosser pictures on Google Images, but they make me feel a little queasy, and I didn't think they'd match the decor, so this will do. If you're one of those weird medical types, feel free to investigate for yourself--there's plenty of deformity, and blood, and "eww"iness to satisfy even the most surgical palate. As for me...I'm off to my laundry and grocery shopping and fridge cleaning...bunion, bunion, bunion.

Fame!

Now that life has slowed down a bit, I thought I'd play a little catch up from summer. Prepare to be dazzled! Prepare to be amazed! Just don't prepare to see any of this in chronological order. Kyle went with the South Salem High School Wind Ensemble to play at the Olympics. While there, he was briefly interviewed for KGW TV in Portland. Check it out!

{{{KYLE'S BIG INTERVIEW}}}

My Technological Clock is Ticking...

My computer clock says that the time is 11:18 p.m. on September 30. If I hurry, I can actually have 3 posts for September, which is the most I've had in a month in a very long time. So, I figure if I have 3 posts, maybe people will come back and read again, and I won't be the "lame blogger friend." Of course, many may feel I am just crying "wolf" and that October will be another disappointment. Never fear! I am having surgery on my foot in 2 weeks, so I will have a lot of downtime and plenty of awkwardness in my life to warrant a few posts. Just the fact that the name of my surgery is "Bunionectomy" is enough to provide at least a week's worth of material.

Digiscrappin' with Beck

It's been almost a year since I did any digital scrapbooking, partly because Peanut (our daschund) chewed through my laptop cord 7 months ago. I finally found a good deal on a new cord, so this week I decided to do a little scrappin'. Thanks to Jofia designs at The Shabby Pickle for making such great stuff to play with!

All the World's a Stage

Being a mother of teenagers, and a woman who does a lot of work with teenage girls, I decided to enter the world of Facebook. Besides making me feel very "cool" (hip...phat...whatever), I can keep track of all the young people in my life. They don't seem to mind, either. My son Kyle is the one who sent me the invitation to have my own "Facebook." I have 77 friends, many of whom actively send me Flair, Poke me in many different ways, and invite me to beat their score on the "Hardest Disney Quiz Ever."

Last week, however, I realized that I will never fully embrace Facebook, the way my younger "friends" do. I logged onto my profile and discovered that my son Kyle had written on my wall, or left a message, for all the world to see. About a week before this post, we dropped Kyle off at BYU to start his Freshman year, and of course, we had to shop at Wal-mart to get him the necessities of life before we abandoned him. Several days later this post shows up on my Facebook page: "you left some tampons in the bag from wal-mart. I don't know what to do"

Bwahahaha!!! I still chuckle when I think about it. We are a modern family with many means of communication available to us. We have a family cell phone plan which allows Kyle to call home on the regular phone or on my cell phone. We have unlimited texting, so he can shoot off a text any time of night or day. His Macbook has ethernet, so any email he might choose to send would arrive in 2.3 seconds. But NOOOOOO! My son posts a question about what to do with the tampons in his room on the front page of my FACEBOOK!!!

That's okay. I can roll with it. I'm flexible. I just posted this response:
And you chose to post this on FACEBOOK for all the world to see!!!???!? Bwahahahaha--Kyle, you are, indeed, random! Well, I'm not going to teach you how to use them, so I suggest you give them away or throw them away. Or decorate your room--no--just throw them away.

To which he responds:
Hmm. Ok. I think I can handle that. I could attack someones room with it.

My sister Sherrie and my friend Kirstin got in on the action:

Kyle... I am sooooo proud that you know what a TAMPON is! You're future wife will love you (cause you'll know what to look for when she sends you out to buy them). Have fun decorating your room. :D

Kyle...as per your comment on your Mom's facebook...I'd suggest keeping them and using them for any nose bleeds you or anyone you know might have. If that doesn't work...soak 'em in water and throw them at people! HAHAHAAAA...

One of the younger people in my life even suggested that he soak the tips in water, at which point they "bloom" into flowers, providing him a lovely bouquet for any occasion.

I don't know what he did with them, but I'm glad I'm old enough that very little embarrasses me anymore.

My Awesome Nephew Jonah

My nephew has a very cool blog, and he challenged people to write a little essay in Webdings. Here is what his looks like:

My favorite thing about summer is that you can swim all day and you dont have to go to school. My least favorite thing about summer is that you are so hot and the annoying buzz of the cicadas makes you crack up. The bug I hate the most is the killer bee, no contest. MY favorite letter in the alphabet is the letter x because you have to pronounce it differently when it's in different spots. My worst night mare was when I dreamed I got eaten by a shark in my own pool.

But when you put it into Word and change the font, this is what it says:

My favorite thing about summer is that you can swim all day and you dont have to go to school. My least favorite thing about summer is that you are so hot and the annoying buzz of the cicadas makes you crack up. The bug I hate the most is the killer bee, no contest. MY favorite letter in the alphabet is the letter x because you have to pronounce it differently when it's in different spots. My worst night mare was when I dreamed I got eaten by a shark in my own pool.

So, Jonah, I'm taking your challenge. Here is my little essay:

Okay Jonah—here I go. My favorite thing about summer is feeling the SUN on my face. It runs away from Oregon at least 6 months out of the year. The thing I like least is when my kids get bored and whiny. The bug I hate the most is the earwig. The movie Star Trek: The Wrath of Kahn makes that fear even worse. My favorite letter is B because it feels so great exploding out of my mouth, and my name starts with B, and the B book was my favorite as a kid. My worst nightmare is going to teach one of my college classes and I am naked and can’t remember the material. Or, I am a student and I have to take the final of a class I never remembered to go to all semester.

If anyone else wants to take Jonah's challenge, let him know you did. His blog is:

http://bloggernamejonah.blogspot.com/